Saturday, February 4, 2012
1 weak has passed me by all means to stand strong. People that I love not care of me properly. I held Him all the emotions and my temper. I leave it to find out all the painful things he had done to me. But, all was in vain and didn't change anything from Him. For Him maybe, I'm just an outcast who isn't important for Him. Soon I'm going crazy, I'm really not strong enough to faced it all that He had done to me. I just can only hope for Him, hoping he would come back again as it once was. I've been unable to explain again how much I am sad now. I love you more. But I hope so, you too
Monday, January 30, 2012
I know life is not always easy to be lived with. Each person has an issue that must be faced. Today, I really want to explode. All my anger has become cries. I want to be appreciated, including my boyF. I loved him sincerely. Don't expect anything other, than the change to be like the first, the first time I was close to Him. Crying that I spend almost every night, doesn't seem to affect Him, certainly. I never want to ban it Him, that he is happy in his own way, but at least respect me, I miss the old you very much. I was too sad, I'm confused what should I do it again day after day. I wanted to scream as loud as possible and no one persone who heard it. Now, I'm the weak person...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Every time He did a good thing, an quite happy I am, I always told myself " God, let this happen forever and not stopped, I hope this will become a habit that he didn't forget". But, the reality doesn't support what I said. Every day, He turned away from what I expected. I tried to wait as long as possible and closely as possible. I hope that someday, He'll be like what I expected, He was the first. I wanted to be someone who is not easy to care for those nearby. No metter with what you are about and calm. Every night, Every day, I even like silent and thoghtful. I want to be someone who is good, brave and cheerful in front of Him. I can fool many people including Him with what I feel in my heart. I can pretend to be cheerful, happy but not at all. I'm trying to not care about the person who now has a major influence on my life, Him. But every time I try to do it, my heart is sick and can't escape from crying. I loved and I care, but I'm also expecting the same from Him. I really can't say anything, can't express my feeling in detail. I'm just an ordinary person who takes reward from the people I care about. And also I miss him so much. Much more :')